Various Aspects

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Therewere various aspects of the inner conflict experienced by the 19thcentury men concerning marriage. One aspect is that men viewedmarriage as more than a way of making up for their lack ofself-restraint. Men viewed women as possessing affection and allfiner sensibilities of the heart and soul that is crucial for comfortand consolation. Therefore, men viewed marriage as a way of remedyingtheir own clumsiness in issues of love and tenderness. Besides, menwere also given the burden of determining and shaping the fortune ofwomen. Men had to shape the social status of the women since he wasthe one charged with the noble responsibility of determining themanagement of finances and determining where the family would livein fact, the social status of the woman went up and down depending onthe social status of the man.

Onthe other hand, women had some degree in influencing the decision tobe made in the family. This gave men a difficult time in making quickdecisions since matters required the intervention of the women. Inaddition, there were counter pressures towards allowing women greaterinfluence in a marriage for instance, in families where the fatherwas absent, women assumed the role of molding the behavior ofchildren. This responsibility gave women an opportunity of assuming agreater power within the family.

However,men were capable of coping with the ambivalence since men still hadthe power of providing a conclusion concerning an issue. Despitewomen being involved in the making of different decisions, the powerof making the final decision rested on men. Besides, men had thecapacity of coping with the ambivalence as women had limited power onsome issues, which made them intervene in the making of decisions.